«Girls, didn’t you know you’re not allowed to carry flowers?»

The news about Navalny’s murder caught me off guard. It came like a punch in the gut.  After following the news all day, I felt exhausted, so I tried to distract myself.  I’m still actively following the case. Despite understanding how our government works — that they likely killed him — I still didn’t want to believe it.  I didn’t want to believe that it was true and I still cannot fully comprehend it.

He was already imprisoned in the far north. How could he threaten Putin there?  It doesn’t make sense. The people in power are nothing but cowards. They disgust me, and many others would agree. 

I felt awful when I woke up the next day.  Eventually I thought: : to hell with it, I want to leave flowers at the memorial, so I will.  A friend accompanied me, but I still would have gone alone.   I wasn’t scared, just anxious and upset. If I got charged with an administrative offense, it would put my job at risk, but I still went because I had to. 

We arrived at the memorial with two bouquets of carnations. Everything was silent all around, we didn’t see a single person. The memorial had been removed. It was a Saturday, and no one was there except for the police. 

When the law enforcement officers saw that we had flowers, special forces immediately appeared from the cars. Even though they followed us, we just walked around calmly. 

We went to another nearby memorial, but everything had been removed.  All the flowers and photos were gone; there were only police. . Finally, we reached the monument of Tatischev and de Gennin (the founders of Yekaterinburg, the city where Ksenia lives). I told my friend I was going to put flowers on the monument.  «Ksenia, do you want to be arrested?» she asked,  «Let’s take a step back and smoke a cigarette.»